The Turnaround Lane

I know what you have all been missing so desperately. You’ve all been waiting for a really good rant. Well wait no longer!

What is it with drivers who don’t merge into the left turn lane?*

Allow me to explain. I had to drive up and down Woodward Avenue a number of times today. For those who are unfamiliar with the streets of the Detroit Metropolitan area, Woodward is the main drag which divides the city: East and West.**/***

Suburban Woodward (which I had been traveling) has three or four lanes running north and south divided by those islands of grass and trees which make everything look so pretty. There are breaks in these concrete oasisses***** every quarter mile or so which allows traffic to turn and go the other direction. This is especially important if you want to make a left turn. In most instances you have to make a “Michigan Left” (which everyone else in the country calls an idiot turn).

For example, if you are traveling north and want to turn west on eleven mile (like I do every day on the way to work) you actually have to cross eleven mile, take the first idiot turn, then drive south until you reach eleven where you make a right. Easy peasy, right?

The problem is that many drivers in the area don’t realize that the lane leading up to the turn is for them to pull in to so they ARE NOT SLOWING TRAFFIC IN THE FAR LEFT LANE! Instead of utilizing this area, usually many car lengths long, they stay on the main road way right up until it is time to turn. Even worse, the move over so only their left tires are in the turn lane and the rest of their vehicle is blocking the way of good drivers who just want to get the Eff around them.

Look people, it’s really not that hard. When the lane starts to appear in the island, get over. Not at the turn, not half way down, right the eff away. You will greatly reduce the risk of having someone rear end you, not impede traffic, and best of all, not force me to follow you to your destination and beat you about the head and shoulders with a tire iron.

*Feel free to read this aloud in your best Jerry Seinfield voice.

**West Siiiide!

***Despite what certain Journey songs would have you believe, no one here would ever refer to any area of the city as “South Detroit.” Know what is south of Detroit? Windsor, Ontario.****

****There’s a little trivia for you. Around here Canada, our “neighbor to the north,” is actually south of us.

*****Nope, it’s not “oasisi,” I looked it up.