I Opened An Etsy Store or As If I Didn’t Have Enough Going On

I have always loved hats.

As a little kid I loved wearing hats. It did not matter if they were baseball caps, fedoras, helmets, military lids, any hat would do.
1 Even when I was old enough to know that most people did not wear hats and that there was a good chance that I would look like an oddball if I did, whenever I got really dressed up, I would wear a hat.

I have recently been trying to bring back the public acceptance of hats. Just about any time that I go out I will be wearing a hat. Granted, it may just be a baseball cap to hide my unkempt hair,
3 but I will not be lidless. Last year I purchased three very nice hats: a black fedora with a white hatband to wear to a 20s themed party4, a tall crowned bowler which I have been wearing at conventions, and a brown fedora-style cowboy hat which has become my every day topper of choice.

I feel that I should stop here and throw out a little rant to all of the jackass hipsters. NOT ALL HATS ARE FEDORAS! If it has a round, flat topped crown it is not a fedora. If it has a tiny 1/2 inch brim it is not a fedora. If it has a bill it is not a fedora. Stop calling everything fedoras you uneducated, soulless, soul-patch sporting land chum!


Anyway. Suffice it to say, I have a lot of hats. One day I had the brilliant idea to build a hat stand. However, this wouldn’t be your normal, everyday, Joe Shmoe hat stand. This would be a creepstastically cool hat stand. I would get some long bones from a skeleton supply store (fake ones), cut them in half, place them into a post at set angles, and crown the whole thing with a skull. It would be awesome!

However, when I looked at prices of long bones I realized that I could purchase an entire disarticulated skeleton for just a little more. That is when the wheels started turning.

What does any of this have to do with an Etsy store? I decided to pay for the cost of the hat stand supplies by making items out of the rest of the disarticulated skeleton. I ordered a few things on-line, made two trips to the local JoAnn’s, and then pulled out the drill and got to work.

Yes, I know. Me and power tools. It’s a pretty scary combination. So far I have managed to not drill a hole through my finger or do anything else stupid enough to warrant a trip to the local emergency room.

So far I have made a number of items. The ones that I have the most of are keychains. I’ve attached keychains to vertebrae, finger bones, and toe bones. I think they came out really well. I’ve also tried my hand at jewelry. I have some necklaces of bones and beads strung on silk cord or leather. I used a small piece of leather and one finger bone to make a bracelet.

One hand and one foot in the package were completely disarticulated. The others were in one piece. I purchased a black shadow box frame and turned the hand into a piece of art — or at least one conversation starter of a decoration.

All of these items will be up for sale by the time this gets posted. The Etsy Store is
The Dragon’s Roost.6 I figure I’ve got a good brand going, might as well continue to use it.

I have plans to make a key holder using the ribs and some wooden plaques that I purchased from JoAnn’s. I haven’t actually made these yet, so I don’t know how they will come out. If I am really lucky they will be strong enough to support a good deal of weight and I can bill them as coat racks, but I’m not going to hold my breath on that one.

I will be selling these items on-line as well as in person at a few upcoming conventions.

For the record: No, I haven’t made the hat rack yet.

1. Mike Nesmith was my favorite Monkee, because he always wore a hat, even if it was a stocking cap.

2. I had a stocking cap just like Mike Nesmith’s, but I didn’t wear it year round.

3. I need a hair cut.

4. It looks awesome with the black suit with the white pinstripes.

5. Knock wood.

6. No surprise there.

7. More on that later.