Totally Random Shitake

I realize that it has been a little while since I posted anything on the old bloggo here. I’m pretty sure that I have some other stuff that I meant to post, but I have been more disjointed and easily distracted than usual. Rest assured, it will make it up here some time, if I deem it worth reading. Or I’ll put it up even if I think it sucks (I know that there is a post somewhere about trying to determine if something actually sucks or if it is my usual negative thinking prompting bad self-review). There’s a good chance that I won’t put anything else up. I’m kind of lazy like that. Regardless, you don’t have to worry about it because you will have no way of knowing if there is un-posted material unless I tell you and that’s the last I am going to say about it.

Yeah, this is going to be one of those.

I have been more ADHD than usual and this post is going to reflect that in a big way. Also, there is going to be a lot of swearing. Sure, I watched a whole bunch of
Jenna Marbles videos today, but that really has nothing to do with it. I don’t know why. There just is. I’m fairly certain that the mushroom reference in the title will be the last time I dodge a swear. There is just going to be a bunch of random stuff that popped into my brain and F bombs. If you are easily offended, or don’t like that kind of thing or if you are looking for, I don’t know, coherent thought or something, skip over this one. Also, if you are perspective employer looking for an example of my writing style, please try a different post.

Please.

Unless you are looking for someone with a very relaxed, conversation, profane writing style. If that is the case, read the fuck on.

Did I mention the swears?

First off, yes, I had a good birthday. I pretty much chilled the whole day and didn’t do a damn thing. I’ve gone out to eat with a couple of different people, had some fun at the bar the other night. Thank you to everyone who came and to all of my well wishers. Thanks for asking. Moving on.

Yeah, I do feel older. Seriously, feel me. Not like that, pervo. This is the last year I will be able to respond to surveys and have anyone give a crap about my opinion. After this I am out of the target market group for everything except hover-rounds and cheap life insurance.

I love the new laptop, which somehow still needs a name, but the screen is quite a bit smaller than I am used to. I have come to the conclusion that I have to zoom in for just about everything. It is either that or where my glasses to use the computer and that’s just not going to happen.

I could not be a bus driver. Ever. That would drive me crazy. Even in a metropolitan area with a reasonably well maintained public transportation system (which is so not the case where I live right now).
1 I just could not deal with all of those people all day long. Too much. Way too much.

It has been unseasonably cool for a couple of weeks and I could not be happier. I do not do well in the heat. What we are experiencing now is the perfect temperature as far as I am concerned.

I love summer thunderstorms. We’ve had some really good squalls lately. What I am tired of is the gloomy, sunless weather. Yeah, I know, I’m a horror guy. I’m supposed to like it when the sky is all grey and ominous. After a while it gets old.

Much to the dismay of The Mrs, I think it is really, really funny to add “mutha fucka” to the end of sentences. Not “mother fucker,” you should not be hearing that uptight, white person R at the end. For example, I just sang the Mentos commercial thus:

“Doo doo doo doo wah! It doesn’t matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, with Mentos fresh and full of Life! Nothin gets to you, stayin fresh, stayin cool, with Mentos fresh and full of LIFE! Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness. Fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life MUTHA FUCKA!”

This cracks me up. I don’t know why. “I’m Wilford Brimley. Did you know that you can get your diabetic testing supplies free, mutha fucka?”

I’m laughing out loud right now just typing this.

I never realized how utterly stupid the Mentos jingle was until I typed it out. I verified it on-line (and now I’ll never get that song out of my fuckin head). That reads like something written in another language and translated poorly into English.

Speaking of songs. I want to apologize to my neighbors. I have been obsessively listening to
Jane Rose and the Deadend Boys2 and The Handgrenades3. I’m sure you are all sick of hearing the same songs over and over. Don’t worry. It will get hot again soon and I’ll close the windows and turn the air on.

We turned our central air off when it got nice and cool and the fan ran for three days non-stop. We had someone out to look at the system today and nothing appears to be wrong. Sort of like when your car stops making that noise the second you drive into the service lot.

I’ve been thinking about next year’s vacation. We might be able to swing Ireland, but I don’t know if I want to be away from the dogs for that long. I have also been looking in to renting an RV and touring the US.

I went outside today and noticed that the door to the public restroom in the park across the street was propped open. My first thought was “I wonder if there is a dead body holding it open.” I think that there may be something seriously wrong with the way my brain functions.

I just found out that the mini-series
Under the Dome, which we have recorded but not watched yet, will be extended into a second season. This pisses me off to no end. Why does Hollywood feel the need to stretch things out? Some stories are designed to be one offs. When the story arc is finished, the story is finished. Returning to the same world or continuing to exist there after the story is concluded does nothing but water down the impact of the original story. Stupid dicks.

OK, I’m seriously too annoyed to write any more right now.




1 It makes perfect sense. We are talking about what was once the automotive capital of the world. Everyone worked for a car company or was somehow familiarly car company adjacent. Why would we need a mass transit system? I’ve never had any particularly bad experiences when I rode the buses (unless you count a bus packed full of sweaty people in July in which case Hell yes I have had plenty). Between school buses and public transportation from school to work, the vast majority of my bus riding experiences have been if not pleasant, at least not negative. Still, like most people I know, that willingness to ride the bus ended when I got my first car.

2 Who I saw at the Midnight Mass car show in Berkley a few weeks ago.

3 Who I saw at the Pig and Whiskey in Ferndale last week.