There’s Always Time For One More Rant

I simply could not let 2013 end without one more good rant. I can just feel the ridiculous statements boiling around in my brain, waiting to be let out.

Oh, and there are so many topics to choose from this time of year. The only problem is that the popular ones have been covered already. In some cases they have simply been done to death. It just does not seem right to devote an entire post to something that everyone else has already chimed in on. You know, things like:

The fact that it is winter: Actually, I did cover this one a little when I talked about
winter preparedness. If you live in Michigan or any state which normally gets snow, guess what? It is now winter. You are going to get some snow. Yes, when you go outside it is going to be cold. It is not the end of the world. Put on an extra layer and get over it. By the way, the fact that it is cold doesn’t mean that global warming is a myth. It means it was poorly named.

The whole what to say to people thing: If there is one thing I am completely sick of it is the arguments which spring up around the end of the year holiday season. I’m all for inclusive language, but the over-reach of political correctness just chaps my ass. If someone wishes you a happy whatever and you don’t happen to celebrate that holiday, just smile and say thank you. That person actually wants you to have a good day (or series of days depending upon the holiday). Are you really going to be all pissy because someone wished you well? If so you are part of a group of asshats who should remove themselves from polite society and go live in a cave.

The religion vs. capitalism debate: Yes, Christmas
1 has become synonymous with capitalist greed. Do you know why? Because everything is centered around the acquisition of new things all of the time. If you work for a television “news” network and complain that people are too focused on consumerism during the holiday season, the first thing you should do is stop taking in any advertising revenue for the holiday season. No? Still going to run commercials for consumer products? Then shut up, you are part of the problem.

As for the people who constantly complain that the all mighty dollar is encroaching on a religious holiday, please stop and take a moment to remember that your religious holiday is encroaching on other religious holidays. The only reason that Christmas is celebrated when it is was because the Church was trying to co-opt existing holidays. In fact, for a couple of centuries Christmas itself was overshadowed by the Epiphany and only rose into prominence after Charlemagne was crowned on Christmas Day.

It all boils down to this, do whatever you want to do and keep your nose out of everyone else’s business. If you don’t like the way someone celebrates the holiday season, so what? No one is making you go to their house. Focus on what you feel is right and stop trying to change everyone else.

Ungrateful kids: In the days since the 25th I have seen a number of posts crop up featuring young people complaining that they didn’t get what they wanted for Christmas
2. In some cases it is the parents who are complaining about their children. Um, your kids are ungrateful brats because you raised them to be ungrateful brats. Want them to change? Take away whatever they are complaining about. Simple solution. As for the kids, suck it up. To quote the song “You can’t always get what you want.” Be grateful you have someone who cares enough about you to give you anything. When someone gives you a gift you smile and thank that person. If you want to be an ungrateful little shit, go live in a cave with the people I mentioned earlier.3/4

Duck Dynasty and the First Amendment: There is nothing in the world that I care less about than some yahoo on a cerebral necrotizing5 television program. The only thing that I have a problem with is when someone uses their platform to spew hatred and stupidity.6 So, quickly so as not to provide any further promotion for said stupidity, some bearded dipshit made remarks which were offensive to homosexuals. He is within his right to do this. His freedom of speech is protected by the First Amendment, as is my right to call him a bearded dipshit.8 The network the show is aired on is within its right to remove the bearded dipshit from the program. This is not a violation of his First Amendment rights. They are not stopping him from speaking, they are simply removing the platform from which he was spouting his dipshittery.

Well, I was just going to mention each of those in passing, but I seem to have already filled up the usual word quota for this post.
9 That doesn’t really leave me a lot of room to complain about the thing that I was going to make this whole post about:

Mid-Season Finales.

What the fuck? It’s not a finale because it is not the end of anything. Finale — final. The ultimate episode. After this there are no more. I don’t even like “Season Finale” but I will accept it since it is at least sort of grammatically correct.

More importantly, why are all television programs doing this now? Yes, most scripted programs take a few weeks off right around the end of the year. They probably figure no one is going to be around to pay attention to their shows anyway
and they have all of these specials that they have to fit in to their schedule. So they take time off.

I posit that with the advent of the DVR, the holiday program break is obsolete.
10 Are there really still people who watch programs when they are on? We are all recording the stuff (and have been since the invention of the programable VCR) and watching it later so we can fast forward through the commercials.11 Just keep running our shows and don’t give us these stupid mid-season cliff hangers. No one wants to wait for a month for their resolutions.12 Besides, the holiday specials are being shown 24/7 on other networks.

Hmm. That didn’t take nearly as long as I thought it was. I guess there really wasn’t enough material there for a whole rant. Good thing the other rants ran a tad over.





1 I am being specific here because this is the argument that I actually hear. I’ve never heard anyone complain that Hanukah is getting too commercialized.

2 Same reasoning as footnote 1.

3 One of the many reasons I don’t have kids.

4 Of course, this is easy for me to say. I got a ton of awesome stuff this year. Yes, I thanked every person, too.

5 Cerebral necrotizing is how I will be referring to this type of program from now on. I did this because it is important to have a word for shows like
Duck Dynasty, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and their ilk. I refuse to use the term “reality programming” since these shows are as far from reality as one can get. In the past I have used the term “unscripted,” but it has become painfully obvious that most of the material is planned in some way. Note the complete lack of the use of the word “entertainment.” “Cerebral necrotizing” seems nicer than “brain rotting.”

6 Beyond the stupidity of the program itself.
7

7 Which I also don’t care for.

8 Actually, this borders on libel, however, the remarks made by this person indicate to me that he is a dipshit. And he does have a beard.

9 I generally try to keep the blog posts around 1,000 words, counting the footnotes.

10 See what I did there?

11 Take that consumerism!

12 On the plus side, I’m finally catching up on all of the movies I recorded around Halloween.