Sequels I’d Actually Pay To See

If you have spent any time reading my blog you know that I am almost entirely against the idea of sequels, reboots, and their ilk. Part of this stems from considering myself a content creator. There are so many great stories being written every day. There is no reason to return to the same well over and over again. Another part of this stems from the idea that when something is done well there is no reason to go back. Why remake a movie that was great to begin with? If you are that jazzed about a new generation being introduced to your favorite move, just pay to have the movie re-released. I also think that a new director coming in and saying “I want to show my interpretation of a classic film” is the height of arrogance.

Finally, there is a tendency for characters to lose their oomph with each successive sequel. Look at how Freddy went from something frightening to a mockery of himself.
1

In short, I usually feel that it is almost always better to leave well enough alone.

That being said, there are a few remakes or sequels which are outstanding. John Carpenter’s
The Thing is amazing. Aliens, succeeds as a sequel primarily because it strayed from the source material.2 The Mad Max movies are all highly entertaining.

In this spirit, I present a list of 10 movies that I would actually like to see sequels to. Some of them are films for which a sequel was proposed or even planned but never came through.
3 Others are just films which I like and would like to be able to see more of the primary characters.

Naturally, I will be discussing the originals including the endings of some films. So, you know, SPOILERS.

10.
Tank Girl — Some day I’ll make a list of my favorite cinematic comic book/graphic novel adaptations. When I do, Tank Girl will be on it. If I do a list of best post-apocalyptic films, odds are this movie will make the cut as well. Lori Petty does an excellent job portraying the titular character. While not a box office hit or critical favorite4, this is a fun movie and a favorite among my friends. There is plenty of material which could be covered in future films.

9.
The Incredibles — This one is such a no-brainer that I am a little surprised it hasn’t happened already.5 The characters in the original are so well done that they end up being more fleshed out than the majority of the super-heroes in non-animated movies. The story is so well written that they remade it as Iron Man 3.6

8.
Big Trouble in Little China — I’ll admit, I go back and forth a lot on this one. The original film is a fun chop-sockey romp with tons of humor, an out of this world plot, and crazy special effects. Jack Burton is the kind of hero I would like to see more of. However, I really thought that I would want to see Snake Plissken again too, but Escape from L.A. reeked like a dog fart in an enclosed space. Still, if the Pork Chop Express rolled into theaters, I’d probably check it out at matinee prices. The demon on the back of Jack’s truck hinted that the big trouble might just be following him around.

7.
Conan — If you were wondering where I got the idea for this list, it is because I caught the end of Conan the Barbarian when I woke up this morning. This movie is a perfect example of the kind of mindless violence that I used to go the show to see. Wicked sword, ridiculous fight scenes, scantily clad women, an over the top bad guy (played by James Earl Jones!), and more than its fair share of quotable lines.7 When the first film came out, we were all excited about the rumors that there would be four films in the franchise, one for each of the major portions of the Cimmerian’s life. Hell, the closing credits scene even shows Conan on his throne while explaining how he got there.8 When Conan the Destroyer came out we were certain that it was only a matter of time before the release of Conan the Marauder and Conan the King. Then we saw Destroyer and wept silently into our popcorn.

6.
Aliens — I can hear you all now. “But Michael, there is a sequel to Aliens (which is itself a sequel you big hypocrite). Didn’t you just do a post in which you mention how much Alien 3 sucked?” All valid points, voices in my head. However, what I want to see is something which follows the story line portrayed in the Alien series from Dark Horse Comics. A grown up Newt facing the Xenomorph invasion of Earth. That would have been way better than a prison movie.9

5.
Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires — When I first read the novella “Bubba Ho-Tep" 10, I knew that there was no way that it could ever be made into a film. The first scene alone…well, we won’t speak of that. Then they not only made the movie, but they cast Bruce Campbell as Elvis and Ossie Davis as JFK. Amazing! The film is a hoot and at the end, viewers are promised the return of Elvis in Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires. Whether or not this was ever intend is a mystery. The limited release of the original helped make it a cult favorite on DVD, but may have crippled the chances of a sequel.

4. More Bruce Campbell rumor goodness:
Evil Dead 4/Freddy v Jason v Ash— All right, I’m cheating a little by combing these two, but I had three more films I wanted to fit in. I could have placed these together with #5, but decided that BHT needed it’s own spot on the list because of the credits promise. The two I will address here are both rumors which probably have more to do with fan’s wanting the films than any actual plans to make them. Anyone who has seen the original, “bummer” ending of Army of Darkness knows that there is the potential for everyone’s favorite boomstick wielding hero to take on an alien invasion in the far future. While people have been clamoring for this for decades, the fact that most of the public is more familiar with the S-Mart ending of AoD is a pretty good indicator that this won’t be happening. Campbell himself has dismissed the idea, saying that just because people want a fourth film doesn’t make it a good idea.11

After the release of
Freddy v Jason, it seemed only natural that the next move would be throw Ash into the mix. Machete v razor glove v chainsaw hand, who could ask for anything better? In order for this to happen, Freddy v Jason would have had to have been better.

3.
Remo Williams: The Adventure ContinuesRemo Williams: The Adventure Begins is one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies. I actually saw it 3 times while it was still in the theater. Based on a series of men’s adventure books which contain 100+ titles, it seems like there would be plenty of material for future films. The original movie blends humor and action in a way reminiscent of the spy movies of the 70s and 80s. Unfortunately, the movie did not fare well at the box office. Time and the recent move towards more gritty, realistic heroes (Batman and Bond), indicate the the title of the original film may have been a bit too optimistic.

2.
Hellboy 3 Hands down, the Hellboy films are my favorite comic book adaptations. Ron Perlman is excellent, the supporting cast is brilliant, and Guillermo del Toro does an amazing job of bringing the Mike Mignola’s universe to life. There are rumors that there are plans for a third movie, which will likely feature the death of the main character. I remain hopeful that del Toro will find time in his schedule to make sure that this film is made.12

1.
Buckaroo Banzai Against the World Crime LeagueThe Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension is another excellent mix of comedy and action, although this one leans much further into the comedy category. Peter Weller plays the good Dr. Banzai, a skilled neurosurgeon, brilliant scientist, inventor, martial arts master, and of course rock star. This is one of the great overlooked 80s movies. Despite an initial release date coinciding with the Summer Olympics in Atlanta, it when on to gain a cult following. The closing credits sequence features the Banzai and the rest of the Hong Kong Cavaliers along with a few members of Team Banzai walking together and then the promise of their return. Unfortunately, the company which produced the film went bankrupt shortly after the film’s release. There has been continued interest in the franchise including a series of comics.13

The exclusion: You just read through the list and some, perhaps many of you, will be wondering why
Serenity/Firefly did not make the cut. While I would love to revisit the crew of the Serenity, there is one reason that I do not want to see another movie made. That reason is Joss “Kill ‘em” Whedon. Yes, he is the fanboy favorite. Yes, having his name attached to a project is a reason for me to see it. I just don’t know if I could stand it when he killed off someone else. I still sob any time anyone says anything about leaves and wind.

Did your movie not make the list? Are you pissed because of something I excluded? Fine, make your own list. It’s kind of fun.



1 Something I have discussed at length in the past.

2 Yes, it kind of hurt to admit that.

3 Although these proposed sequels could be part of a gag in the case of some comedies.

4 You are going to find that is the case with a lot of the movies on my list.

5 Yes, I know there was a short featuring Jack Jack, but I didn’t see it because it was part of the lead in to some other movie. Besides, I’m talking about something feature length.

6 Think about it. Or just check out the
How It Should Have Ended video. Skip ahead to the 0:50 mark if you want to miss the other funny stuff.

7. If you do not know the answer to the question “What is best in life?” you have some research to do.

8. There are two versions of the final voice-over which speaks of Conan becoming “King by his own hand.” The US theatrical release says “but that is another story” which is promising, but not as promising as “and this story shall also be told.”

9. Do NOT say that the Aliens made it to Earth in the
AvP films. I’ll have to hurt you.

10. Written by the always amazing Joe R. Lansdale.

11. He then asked the audience “How many people saw
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull?”

12. Of course, I’m also hoping for
At the Mountains of Madness.

13. Which is ironic considering that in the film, Buckaroo Banzai is the star of his own comic book series.